I've been back two weeks now, but the Philippines is still in my head. (And on the chair in my bedroom where some of the stuff I brought back is still residing). I have to admit that despite my long experience teaching English and my degrees in Chinese I was not really prepared for the Philippines. All that I knew about their history was high school World History in 10th grade 55+ years ago: Magellan, Spanish Empire, Spanish American War, U.S. Territory, Second World War. My attention to more recent history was sound bites of Imelda Marcos's shoes and Duterte's Drug War.
Yes I had a number of students from the Philippines, but not as many as from other Asian countries, so I sort of assumed most of them spoke English already. I knew many caregivers and health professionals from the Philippines, whom I assumed came to the U.S. not as refugees but because salaries were higher. I knew they were ethnically mixed, so not immediately identifiable by looks. I also have a facial recognition disability and find it hard to recognize people I don't know well.
I also have to admit (I'm embarrassed by these admissions) that my image of wealthy Asian families was way too influenced by the movie Crazy Rich Asians, and I imagined my son's future in-laws as amalgams of the most extreme characters in this movie. I was terrified to meet them. Of course none of my nightmares came true. Everyone was friendly and hospitable and best of all, they seemed to be genuinely fond of Matthew!
My family is small (I had only 2 brothers, 4 first cousins)-- their family is enormous by comparison (someone told me Cara has19 first cousins.) "Aunts" and "Uncles" that were not actual relations abound. And the similarity of names and proliferation of nicknames made it even worse.... I made innumerable blunders at remembering who was who and which branch of the family they belonged to. I am definitely going to work up a family tree and illustrate it with pictures to help me keep track, not that there is going to be a test!
People truly came from all over for the wedding --
New England and Southern California, Samoa, and Philadelphia, not to
mention my friend's kids from London! and they braved volcano threats
and fears of Corona virus outbreaks and changed flights. They are really
world travelers and family weddings are a Big Deal! By contrast, my wedding was
attended by exactly one of my relatives, my mom; the Ohio contingent
were all content to listen to the audio tape and look at the photos.
Outside of the family and wedding guests there were quite a few surprises in the people we met. First were the live-in servants (my first exposure to this outside of t.v. series!) The family's driver/babysitter/car-washer/pool-cleaner/24/7 was a font of information on literally everything from sociology to history to politics. She was college educated, had the patience of a saint in horrendous traffic, & refused to call me anything but Madame Linda!
The sheer number of staff persons at the hotels, airports, malls, buses, restrooms, streets was surprising. In the US we've become accustomed to truncated customer service, self-pump gas stations, self checkouts. There were even people attempting to direct traffic, which I don't think I've seen in the US since the fifties! I suppose that this is partly because of labor availability. It is handy to have a salesperson or two at each elbow in a department store, unless you are just browsing, when it starts to get annoying. The manicurist I went to worked in the dark, and had no conversation, whether because of custom or language barrier, who knows.
Most of the people we met lived in gated communities in MetroManila. Access was controlled at entrances, and in all the malls. Dress codes were enforced at all the better restaurants and hotels. We saw no homeless or beggars in these areas. My friends and I ventured out to the Rest of It by city bus and light rail. And saw only a couple of children sitting on steps collecting coins, a few older people sleeping on the streets. Mostly we saw people working working working -- construction workers everywhere, people driving jeepneys and pedicabs and motorcycles with sidecars, drumming up business for taxis, hustling goods from innumerable tiny shops (I have closets bigger), delivering loads of laundry, food. Their homes were sometimes sheds piled atop other piles of sheds served by snarls of electrical wires that would give Edison nightmares. Sewage was visible and smellable! "Bed space" was advertised (not really sure what this meant...) Food seemed abundant. Schoolchildren were all in uniform, all seeming very serious. Even among tourist-industry workers, English fluency was down to about 40% comprehensibility. Outside the city we also saw farmers with water buffalo, road crews, people shoveling up volcanic ash along the road. I imagine the time of the year affected the number of agricultural workers we saw -- not many!
I don't want to draw many conclusions based on my one (and possibly only) brief visit. The contrast between wealth and poverty seemed very sharp, but then it always does. Huge weddings create a level of stress far beyond that of ordinary life! I was almost never alone anywhere, which is very different from my comfort zone in San Jose. I intend to pay more attention to the news from the Philippines, and to the many immigrants to live in my community, and of course to get to know my new family-in-law! My next blog post will probably be about food....(I really miss not having to cook!)
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